The more people I share my story with, the more I get asked, "Well, how did you do it", I usually answer that shortly, "I altered my diet and I exercise." That isn't always the best response I don't always have the time to go into detail, but when I do, it’s hard to actually stop talking. I want to make a point without negativity and intimidation sometimes that get across in a correct way I feel, sometimes it doesn't. In effort to encourage instead of tear down I think sharing here is the best delivery system.
A little background information about me, I was always overweight, even as a child. I had four grandparents with type 2 diabetes. I do not remember a time not seeing insulin and syringes when I visited them. I suppose I was conditioned to it, I don't blame anyone for it; it’s just the way it was. By the time I was 27 years old, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, by the time I was 31, and I was on insulin myself. By then, I had resolved to my fate. I was destined to be 330lbs to 350lbs, on insulin, and essentially miserable. Yes, I had plenty of people tell me, doctors, etc., "You need to lose weight, do this, this, and this", it came across as "blah, blah, blah", I heard what they said but I did not take in it. I had fertility problems in the middle of it all, I was told losing weight was the best chance of a successful pregnancy and then with careful monitoring I could have a baby. In 2002, I had lost enough weight to get pregnant with the use of fertility drugs. In 2003 after a high risk diabetic pregnancy I had my first son; he was healthy, and delivered by c-section. I had a lot of problems healing afterwards due to my diabetes and my 320lb frame. All in all, I did okay, but I was still miserable and still didn't grasp the idea why.
Two years later, my weight had crept up to 348lbs, I had ignored my diabetes, my health, and my body, like they didn’t exist, thinking, oh I am young, it will be ok. I ended up breaking my ankle and did not feel it. A few weeks later I noticed a lot of pain in my leg so I went to the doctor and he said, "You have an ankle fracture that has healed incorrectly, physical therapy will help, but we also checked your blood glucose levels, we have to talk". I was shocked; I had levels so high, that I was very fortunate that I was not in a coma. Immediately, I was put back on insulin shots, ordered once again to diet and exercise. I decided I should begin something; I got some advice from co-workers suggesting what gym I should use. By November of 2005, I was determined, so I joined that gym, and I went, twice. Yes, twice, I jumped on a treadmill, because I knew I could walk... and I could, but no longer than 10 minutes without giving out and I felt so intimidated, so huge, and so out of place. I quit going.
Into 2006, after a little dieting and walking outside, I had lost about 20 lbs. I felt pretty good about it; I ended up joining a Curves gym. I felt less intimidated there and felt the workouts, although challenging, were more on my level. I did that for a few months, during this time, it finally sunk in, hey, and I can do this. My internal motivation was changing, the more I worked out, the more I wanted to. The slow change from my terrible eating habits to a healthier approach to meals was working to. I noticed by this time, I had lost a little over 50lbs, I wanted to do more. I set small goals little by little. This was working, and I wasn't about to overwhelm myself by looking too far ahead. It was and always has been a step by step process.
Several months in my membership at Curves, I wanted to do more. I took a leaping step of faith, I rejoined that gym I had quit, and needless to say, I have not left. I have worked off 170lbs of the person I was. I am also no longer a diabetic. I truly know what it is like to be on the end of hopelessness, and knowing I want change and not sure how to get there. Little by little I have reached my small goals and changed my old habits. I don’t plan on going back to the old person I was. I can say with all enthusiasm and full certainty that it is attainable, and most importantly, by anyone.
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